What a big day!!!....

We have had a really good weekend. Mike and I have just enjoyed being together knowing our time alone is going to limited real soon. We painted our girls bathroom (also known as our guest bathroom) today and that felt really good to get that done. Tomorrow hopefully we are going to paint our half bath and baby proof the kitchen. I'm trying hard to get stuff done while I have the time. I just know the girls will be home soon.

We went into the NICU today. We saw Olivia first. The nurse greeted us and said that she had gained weight. She said she was going to go check the chart to convert the grams into weight. She came back and told us that she weighed 4 lb. 3 1/2 oz. She is really growing!! I kept looking at Olivia's face and it just looked so full. She is filling out so much. And yet there was something different...I couldn't put my finger on it...her face just looked different....her cheeks just this perfect shape....and then I looked at her nose and it hit me....I said "Oh my gosh...Mike..." and he just looked at me. I was wanting him to guess what it was that I saw but I didn't wait for him to guess. I said "Her nasal cannula is out". Olivia had been taken off of the oxygen at noon today. The nurse thought the previous nurse had told us but she hadn't. So I was surprised and what a great surprise!!!! She was doing great without it!! Hooray!!!! Tomorrow is her last day of gut priming. Then she starts her feeding schedule and they will work up to full feeds. She will start at 4 ml. and work up to about 30 ml. (maybe more). It's actually probably 40 now that her weight has changed. I'm really just guessing. But anyway...I'm sure she will do great. So far she is still taking all her feeds by bottle. Yea!!!

So then we walk into Emma's room. As we get closer, Mike says "Bethany...look!" Emma had moved into a big girl bed. Another surprise!!!! She was laying there all tucked in wide-eyed...looking around the room like this is new. The nurse said when she moved her into her bed, she had her eyes open wide for at least an hour just looking around. Emma now weighs 3 lb. 2 1/4 oz. Emma is doing incredible being weaned off this stuff. Her nitric oxide is down to 1 and will come off of that tomorrow. Her pressure is at 33 and her oxygen is in the 40's - 50's. As they move her pressure down and she adjusts, her oxygen will go up some but that is still good. Her blood gases have been good. She will have another blood gas and an x-ray at 6:00 a.m. They haven't done an x-ray in about 5 days so they want to see what is going on. I'm anxious to see what tomorrow holds.

I'm so proud of my girls!!! They have come so far.

You know...I was going to share this yesterday with my email but I didn't. During this whole process I have just really been wrestling with and questioning what faith is and the purpose of prayer. It's hard when you pray over your baby and she gets worse or you don't see anything happening. You start to wonder if you have enough faith. I believe God has a plan for our girls. But then I start wondering if prayer really changes anything if He has an ultimate plan. So then you start questioning the purpose of prayer. I appreciate Rob Bell, who wrote the book "Velvet Elvis". In there, he encourages people to dig into the Word and wrestle with questions and find out more and don't just believe it because someone says it. Find out for yourself. It makes way more of an impact when I go through it myself and mull it over. Anyway, I've prayed many times for our girls and so has Mike. But two nights ago, Mike and I were visiting with Emma. I just laid my hand on her incubator and prayed that God would heal her lungs. I asked God to heal her body. It was the first time I think I really believed He would. That was when she was 76%. The next day she was in the 40's and getting better ever since. I'm not saying it was that prayer or because it was me....it was just so cool for me to experience that faith and feel what I felt behind it. I had prayed that prayer many times but I hadn't really felt that before. I shared that with Mike the next day and he pointed out this plaque that we have had and are going to put up in our bathroom. Across the middle it says "FAITH" really big and then in the background it says "Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see". Hebrews 11:1 The verse really speaks for itself and certainly spoke to me. That is what I had been struggling with. I am certain that God is going to take care of us no matter what the outcome is. I have faith that God is bigger than any plans I have. I have faith that God is our provider, our healer and He continues to hold our daughters in His hands. And in that I can find peace which I have through prayer. Going through this journey, I truly believe God has been trying to teach me something. I have been wondering what but I think I know now. I don't claim to know all the answers to anything. I just know that sometimes you have to question things and figure it out on your own to really understand it. We appreciate all the prayers that have been coming our way. It has been very important to have your strength behind us because we don't always feel strong and we feed off of your strength. It has been the support underneath us that has carried us through. Your prayers have made a difference with our whole family and we love you all!!

They don't understand what has made the difference with Emma and her little lungs.... I do.

Thank you! and Good night!!!
Love,
Bethany