I know it has been awhile...

I know it has been awhile...sorry...I'm sure I've kept everyone is suspense. I've just been in robotic mode lately. My emotions are tired. Emma is doing well but I find myself a little reserved with my feelings. Always cautious of a "down" coming. She is definitely surprising us though. They had tried going down to 2 liters again and she has done very well with that. Last night we went in and I scrubbed up with my sister and was ready to walk in when one of Emma's primary nurses mentioned something about Emma in a different room. She let us know that Emma had moved to room 4 - the "feeding and growing" room. After almost 3 months in the same spot, same room (room 1 - what they consider the Intensive Care Unit) and here she is in a different room, different spot (with a window view might I add). : ) I told Mike today that I really felt like one of us needed to go in and just cuddle with her for an hour or so. So I went in and held her. It was the first time she has let me hold her for as long as I wanted. In the past she has tolerated it for a short time and then she would start to desat. Not this time. I held her for an hour and a half. They also started nippling her. She has taken 7 cc and 10 cc with the nurses and then 6 cc for me today. Her full feed is 35 cc. She is doing well for having a bottle in her mouth for the first time. She really doesn't know what it is. She is used to her pacifier - sucking on it with nothing coming out. Now something is coming out and she doesn't know what to do with it. She has to organize the sucking, swallowing and breathing thing. When I called this morning she had been in 34-38% oxygen which is great. Well, when I went in she was at 41%. Up a little in oxygen - so I asked the nurse if she has been doing o.k. today. She said yes and she said she was up in oxygen to compensate for the change. I didn't know what she was talking about. Then she told me they had lowered her to 1 liter. Wow! While I held her she came down to 38% oxygen. That is really great! She really is moving along. We are still looking at 2-3 weeks before she can come home. We'll see. She will be 3 months old on Friday. Usually I would say time flies....not in this case. I think we have been here forever.
Mike and Alyssa went in tonight. The nurse told Mike that it was really great to see Emma doing so well. She said they are so used to seeing babies in Emma's situation come in and are there for a few days and then they pass away. She is one of the few that make it out of being so bad. She was really happy to see Emma pulling through. Go Emma!!!
Olivia is doing well. Everyday I'm getting more and more used to her - finding out the best way to burp her, the best bottle for her, how she does best doing this and that, etc. She had such a good doctor's appointment last Friday. They want her to gain an ounce a day. It had been 7 days since the last visit. So instead of gaining 7 ounces, she gained 10 1/2 ounces. That's my girl!!! You go porker!! She is up to 6 lb. 2 oz. She still sleeps a lot but I'm enjoying that right now. (At least someone is sleeping). : )
My mom came this past week and helped me out a ton. She really is an angel to me!! She helped me gut out my guest bedroom that is becoming the twins room. We took a full van to Goodwill and threw away some stuff. It felt great!! Plus we basically cleaned the house from top to bottom. It was tiring but much needed and it felt great. I'm trying to get my house as maintainable as possible. Plus she watched the 3 girls while I went in and stayed with Emma. My mom went back home on Friday and will probably come back when Emma comes home. I know I'll need the help then. Until then, Mike and I will take turns every other night going in to see Emma. They are so understanding in the NICU. It really helps take away the guilt we feel. It doesn't take away how much we miss her though. Just keep praying that she takes to her bottle well and her lungs continue to heal.
I'm doing pretty well. It's been difficult to keep up with my milk supply. I took my last 60 bottles in to Emma. That should last her about 2 weeks. I'm supplying enough to feed Olivia fresh milk. But that is it. I'm not making enough to stock up for Emma. I started this herbal stuff called Fenugreek and am pumping every 2 hours so we'll see if this works. It needs to because formula is just too expensive for 1 baby, let alone 2. If this doesn't work, there is one more pill I can try. It might sound weird but please pray that I can rest enough, not stress, drink enough and pump enough so that my supply will increase.
Mike is doing pretty good as far as I can tell. He and Keith worked on the basement this weekend. They got the framing done except for one wall. It's good to see that area taking off again. It is just hard for him to get down there. Most of his nights are in the NICU after work and then he comes home in time to eat dinner and then crash. His birthday is tomorrow so that should be fun.
Alyssa is doing well. She is pretty clingy these days. I love watching her and Loren playing together. Two days ago, Alyssa and Loren were in their room. Loren was in her crib standing up being loud. Alyssa was standing across the room. I heard Alyssa shouting to Loren "I'm in here with you". "And when I'm in here with you, you can't whine". It was pretty funny. Then they were playing in their tunnel (one of those slinky ones). They had part up on the couch and the other half on the floor. Well, Alyssa "helped" Loren fall down the tunnel onto the floor, then fell down on top of her. Next thing you hear is "Sorry" coming from Alyssa. then Alyssa climbs back up and out and says "I think she is hurt" as Loren is crying. It might have been one of those "you had to be there" but it was hilarious.
Well, I need to get to bed. Sorry for the long blog but it has been a couple of days since I have written.
Good night!
Bethany