Downer...

Sorry this post might be a downer...that is just how I'm feeling right now. I feel like I'm at the end of the race and feel like I can't go on and I am not yet seeing the finish line. I feel like I'm putting all my strength into getting through just one day. I guess you could say my gas tank is empty again. All 3 of my kids at home are demanding in different ways. The house is always demanding. But this is something every parent feels...it's life right? Is the NICU still this taxing on me? or is it just the journey that is tiring? Is there going to be another wave of energy to get me the rest of the way through this? Is this just a wall? This is what has been going through my mind. I really feel like I can't do this any longer.
I feel like we keep hitting road blocks with Emma. The feeding therapist came in this morning and they worked with her bottle. Now she can get more out of it but she is working too hard. The doctor doesn't want to cut it or make it bigger though because she doesn't need to take in too much too fast. So she said that Emma needs to work harder at it. I guess I'm a little frustrated with that. They are watching her weight and calories because the last thing they want is for her to start burning calories because she is working too hard to eat and then lose weight. Time will tell I guess.
I'm really going to screw up this spelling....the endocrinologist called today and said that Emma's calcium is too high and they are looking into it. They are doing a genetic study and a whole bunch of other tests. They are looking into kidney problems, high blood pressure problems and hormone problems in our history. I am not sure what any of this means...hopefully I'll get more information tonight when I go in.
Emma gets her eyes checked tomorrow in the NICU. Olivia gets her eyes checked at the doctor's office. We'll see how those turn out.
Alyssa starts tumbling tomorrow night. That will be really good for her to get out of the house and get rid of some of that energy. She also starts preschool next week. Again, she needs that right now. It will be 2 1/2 hours a day for 3 days.
Please keep us in your prayers right now. I know Mike and I are both wearing thin.

Love you to all! Thanks again for the support!
Bethany