Therapy..

I think when I have the hardest time talking to God is when I know I'm going to have to give up trying to control things. I think that is how I've been feeling. Then the more I think of it, I'm like why would I not want to give up control? Hasn't He shown that He has a plan for Emma. I mean seriously, she wasn't even supposed to survive the operation. It was a surprise she lived after birth with her being so sick. So why have I been stressing and struggling over her issues now? If God could bring her through all that, I know He has a plan for her. I think one of the hardest things is to watch your child go through things they shouldn't have to. So many things that we go through with our children is probably exactly how God feels about us as His children. Whether it is our child that has made a bad decision, is on the wrong path or is in pain emotionally or physically - all this is hard but there is always something to learn from it.
I'm feeling better today. Probably because my blogging is professional therapy for free as my good friend says. Sometimes I don't know all that is inside until I start typing and then I see all the emotions and thoughts that are within all built up. Last night, I didn't sleep one minute!!!! (Thank you Olivia!!!) This morning Alyssa came in my room and I finally took a short 30 minute nap at 6:40 a.m. I will eventually fall over. I'm sure of it. Emma is doing better eating. I'm finding that if she eats a smaller amount, then I need to feed her after 2 hours. If she eats a good amount, I can wait 3 hours. But she really just has to be on a rigid schedule right now. We need to see if she is working too hard with her lungs/kidneys/etc. to see if it is affecting her weight. We'll know more next week.
I need to get my children in bed but I wanted to thank you for all the prayers and encouraging words. God has been with us so far and I know He will never leave us nor forsake us. He has plans for us, to give us a hope and a future. I'm excited for what He has in store. Love you all!
Bethany