Another day is here...

Another day is here. Last night Emma had a better x-ray at 10:00 p.m. She had a good blood gas this morning so they lowered her settings which was good. Then her next blood gas was not good so up the settings go again. Her lungs are just really sick. She dropped 5 more grams in her weight. They started her on antibiotics in case she is starting another infection. She is very sweet!!! She held my finger today. I just stood there with my finger near her tiny hand and I would just let her hold it if she wanted to. She was sqeezing and letting go and coming back to hold it again. The aquarium feeling was overwhelming again today for me. I guess when I'm held or getting a hug, there is so much comfort in that and that is why it is so hard for me not to hold her. I feel like if I could she would know that we are here for her and we are going to be here no matter how long it takes. She just kept looking out the "cage" as if she was thinking "I hear someone so I think there is someone here". That tiny distance between her and I feels like a million miles. Emma was getting her eyes checked today. We will find out tonight the results.

Olivia is doing well. She went down to 1 liter of oxygen. She will probably be at that for a couple of days then she will come off of the oxygen completely. I tried to feed her a bottle today. It wasn't pretty. She has trouble coordinating the sucking, swallowing, breathing thing. So she desatted really quick for me. She turned purple and her eyes rolled back in her head. Yep, that was scary. I took the bottle out and patted her back and slowly her heart rate came back up and she started breathing again. It brought back memories of feeding Alyssa in the NICU. Needless to say, I tried feeding only a few more minutes before calling it quits. She took the rest through her tube. I prefer the nurses do it until she gets the hang of it and then I'll try again.

Both Emma and Olivia have primary nurses now. Basically, if they are on shift, they will probably be with our girls. They get to know them well and what they like and don't like.

So the end of another rough day...hopefully tomorrow will hold more sunshine.

Love to all!