Thanks to my sister...

Thanks to my sister who has kept you all up to date!! Love you!

Boy, what a past two days!!! So Sunday as you could tell from my email, I didn't have much hope. I talked to the founder of TTTS foundation and was very much encouraged. Monday morning, I went in with that little bit of hope and it was soon taken away.

We had an ultrasound that morning and Emma was severely worse. She had developed hydrops. Hydrops is when the heart starts going into heart failure and produces fluid under the skin. I did not feel her move this weekend at all. So part of me was suprised just to see her heart beating that morning.

I was then prepped for surgery and waiting in my room with Mike and his parents. The Dr. came in to make sure we were all on the same page. He said he didn't think Emma would make it through the surgery. She was at a stage 4 (5 being death). He kept informing us that we could choose selective termination and let Emma pass so that Olivia had a better chance. Mike and I felt very strongly to let both our babies have a fighting chance. So at that moment we basically had no hope. They even asked us if we wanted a chaplain. I didn't. I wasn't ready to finalize our goodbyes. So once they said it was time for surgery and they had me ready to go, Mike asked for a minute alone with me and his parents. They stood around the bed surrounding me. It was very hard but he prayed an amazing prayer giving everything to God and praising Him for everything that was to be. We were all crying. I love that song "I will praise you in this storm and I will lift my head. You are who you are, no matter where I am. Every tear I cry, you hold in your hand. You never left my side, though my heart is torn. I will praise you in this storm".

So I'm rolled off to surgery and they all walk me down. The tears just wouldn't stop. They asked if I wanted to be completely awake or a little woozy. I wanted to be out as much as I could because I didn't want to cry through the whole thing.

I remember them doing all the prepping - epidural, etc. and then I was out. I was feeling great and then boom, I was awake. I wasn't too happy. Later I found out that I was sleeping so hard that I was snoring - how embarassing!! It was making my tummy go up and down too much so they had them pull back on the drugs. : )
They did give me some other drugs to get through. I remember waking up to hear that the placental share was either 60/40 or 50/50. I could feel the pressure of the laser. They had me wear laser glasses to protect my eyes while they were lasering in my belly. Afterwards, I was very sore, like someone had stabbed me. This fetoscope was about the length of a pencil (maybe a little longer) and I don't remember how big around. I just have a cut about the length of your fingernail. Very sore but not too bad.

The dr.s went to talk with Mike and the family and said things went well. All the dr.s were smiling which wasn't the case before. I got back to the room and they did an ultrasound which showed they were both alive. What a victory!!! Thank the Lord!!!

The night was rough being sore and having all the attachments to me but I didn't care. My girls were alive and I couldn't ask for more. By 12:30 a.m., I could not sleep so the nurses gave me a sleeping pill. I still had an i.v., cathater, leggings to keep my blood from pooling in my legs and creating blood clots plus I had compression boots on. I also had a moniter around my belly to moniter my contractions. So you can imagine it was hard to sleep. Anyway, I ended up sleeping 4 hours.

Mike came this morning and we had our ultrasound. Our girls were still alive (1st 24 hours was the most critical). Heartbeats were 158 and 159. Emma is still very sick. and we are still in a waiting period. Thursday will tell us more. We will have an echo and ultrasound and another team meeting. I am currently on strict bedrest - getting up only for bathroom privileges. and yes, I am doing well obeying. : )

Thank you sooooooooooooo much for all your prayers!!! Ali is right, we do have a bunch of fighters in our girls. It is so comforting to have peace from God during these times. It doesn't mean everyting is going to turn out perfect and go your way. But you trust that God is in control and there is such a peace behind that. Our faith has grown through this no matter the outcome.

We love you all!
I'm going to rest now.