We had an ultrasound this morning, and everything looks pretty good...

We had an ultrasound this morning, and everything looks pretty good. We do not know their weights. They only like to do those every 2 weeks. So next Monday we will know how much they weigh. I'm anxious to see how they are growing. Our ultrasound took 2 1/2 hours because these girls think it is play time. The Dr. thinks their hearts are improving because they are so active. Their fluids from what I can tell looks good. Again, we are not in Cincinnati so we are not getting details like we were before. A lot of it seems like speculation which is a little frustrating for me but it's what we have here. So I have to assume that they would catch things if they were getting worse.

Some of the things they are watching right now is their growth and my blood pressure. Today it was something over 90. They took it again after I laid down and it went down to 84. So they are still content with things and they will see me next week. I'll be 26 weeks on Thursday. Right now, their goal is to get me to 28 weeks. Once I'm there, their goal is 30. From there, 32 weeks. He said at that point we will probably deliver between 32 and 34. So I continue my lovely bed rest that I'm so tired of. I've been on it for 3 1/2 weeks now and I'm close to going crazy.

He said what is going to factor when I have these girls is one of/or the combination of their growth and my blood pressure. They still don't know the growth restriction on Emma. So we just wait and watch. Once she stops growing, we take the girls. From here on out, we will have an ultrasound every week.

Thanks and stay tuned for next week's episode of "not so much information",

Just a quick update...

Just a quick update. I had my gestational diabetes test come back a little above what they want to see. So I went in for a lengthy testing this morning. They took my blood, made me drink this awful sugary drink and contintued to take my blood every hour for the next 3 hours. Nothing like being poked 4 times. Not my idea of fun. Anyway, I'm not worried about this but I will find out next week what the results are. I'm just trying to get in as much adventure and experience as possible - I guess.

Blood pressure is still good.

My girls are living it up in St. Louis with their cousins, aunt and grandma. Alyssa and Claire are attached at the hip. Loren is probably just entertained to watch her 9 cousins do what they do.

I have an ultrasound next Monday. I'll email with the results.

I had a pretty confusing and irritating day...

I had a pretty confusing and irritating day at the hospital yesterday for the ultrasound. I called Cinci. today and spoke with them to make sure I was on the right track of understanding and I wasn't losing my mind (which is possible considering I've been on bedrest for over 3 weeks now). Anyhow, they confirmed that I was right with my findings and said they would call the dr. Well, within 10 minutes I got a call from my dr. saying that he had me confused with someone else I guess and apologized. Anyway, things are straightened out and we are back on track. I didn't want to stir up any trouble I just wanted to feel comfortable and confident with my care here and make sure that my dr.s were on the same page.

So both girls have gained 5 oz. I think that is pretty good. Percentage wise, Emma gained more than Olivia considering Emma was smaller. So we are going to catch up and I believe if anybody can do it, it is my girls. They proven some wrong so far. Just the fact they are still here is big.

I had an appointment today. I'm 25 weeks tomorrow. I'm measuring 30 weeks. which is probably normal with twins. They found both girls heartbeats right off the bat - 145 and 150. I had my glucose testing for gestational diabetes so we'll have to wait and see how that comes back. My blood pressure was 120/80 on the nose so that is good.

I will be having an ultrasound every week and go to my OB every 2 weeks. So that is about it for now.

Well, we had our ultrasound today...

Well, we had our ultrasound today. I was a little disappointed with the fact that we waited an hour before we even got to go in. Once the dr. came in all he said was the babies looked good. Now although that is good news, I'm used to the specialist going into detail and giving us a good report.

So I had to start asking questions. I didn't necessarily get the confident responses I wanted but it seems good.

I asked if Emma had hydrops. He said from what I saw on the screen I didn't see any. He said I don't think so but maybe there is a little there. So you can decide what that means.
I asked if the fluid levels were o.k. He said they were 3 and 8. Hummm, I think that is good. They are both in normal range.
We asked about her heart. He said it was pumping better.
Then he said that Emma wouldn't catch up to Olivia because of the non-selective procedure they had to do. Mike and I were told in Cinci, that they didn't have to do non-selective and they were telling us that was great that they only did selective. So I don't really know what page we are on here.

Emma is 14 oz. Olivia is 1 lb. 5 oz. So they are both growing.

My opinion and interpretation is this.....Emma is showing no signs of hydrops or very little so her heart must be getting better. I don't know if they will be able to tell us when it has completely healed because I don't have a lot of confidence after today. They are both growing which is great!! I think Emma has a good chance of catching up. I can feel them both as active as if they were playing basketball so I feel good about their progress.

So not a lot of info. but no bad info. so I guess we'll take it.

My blood pressure was high when I first went in. It did lower after I laid down. He said that eventually I will be in the hospital on full bedrest with monitering because of my blood pressure but could not tell me when. So....I'm definitely not looking forward to that. But the more I lay down, the lower my blood pressure should be.

So hopefully my next report will be better and more confident.

Thanks to all!
Love you all!!

You don't want to hear every t.v. show and book I've read...

I haven't sent out an update yet because I'm sure you don't want to hear every t.v. show and book I've read. It kills me to do bed rest but I know it is to heal Emma's heart.

Tomorrow is my next ultrasound at the hospital. So I will email you once I get home from that. I'm anxious to see how things are looking. I would love it if the hydrops were all gone. My Dr. said it could take me til 30 weeks (five weeks away) for that to happen. So I won't be disappointed if it is not. I hope Emma has started to grow. That is another thing that can't tell me unless the hydrops is gone because all the fluid in her belly, lungs and head would give a false reading of how big she is. So I don't know what they'll be able to tell.

I'm loving the gorgeous weather here!!!

Well, I will write tomorrow. Thanks for the continuous prayers for our girls!!!

We had another long day at the hospital...

We had another long day at the hospital!

Thanks to both our parents for watching our girls for the past two weeks and to Alison and Keith for housing us!!!! We couldn't thank you enough!!!!

We started out at Good Samaritan with an ultrasound and then headed to Children's Hosp. for an echocardiogram. Then we ate lunch and waited for our consultation with our Dr.

Let me recap a few things that were said on Monday before surgery. I asked if they have ever had a case like ours where the babies survived. The answer was no. I asked if he thought the babies would make it. He thought Emma would not make it through the surgery and he wasn't sure about Olivia. On a scale of 5 - 5 being death - Emma was at 4.

So the report today - same dr. -
Olivia is completely fine. Heart is normal (as you recall in the beginning of this ordeal Olivia was the one with the sick heart, then it turned to Emma).
Emma's left side of her heart has completely normalized. He said he cannot explain this. He said I wish I could give you an explanation but I can't. Mike and I looked at each other and smiled and I pointed to the sky. The dr. looked and me, smiled and nodded his head. The right side of her heart is still sick but has improved 10%. He said I couldn't give you better news right now. I'm 24 weeks today. He said if Emma keeps improving like she is and if we can make it to 30 weeks, she should be fine. If she is born before 30 weeks, we might be dealing with some cardiac issues. She had developed hydrops so she still has fluid in her abdomen, scalp and her lungs but they said it has not gotten worse and they think it has improved some. They cannot get an accurate growth on Emma because the hydrops (fluid) would throw off her actual size.

I do not need to have any more echos. Yea!!! Just ultrasounds from here on out - at least weekly if not more.

I told the Dr. that we just wanted to be their 1st case. He smiled. He's never had a survivor case with it this bad, well my little fighters will just have to be his first. : )

Thank you to you all for hanging in there with us and sending your prayers our way. When Mike prayed on Monday, he prayed that if God's plan was to take the girls, then He could take them home. And if His plan was for them to be here with us, that we would love to love them and care for them. It is the hardest prayer you would ever have to pray but it gives such peace and letting God have all the control. I remember praying that same prayer with Alyssa 3 days after her open heart when the dr.s couldn't tell us if she would pull through and were not hopeful. There is an amazing peace that comes over you - when you finally let go and let God.

Well, I'm going to get off of my feet. Actually I am sitting down, but I'm going to go lay down.

The plans - Mike and I are traveling back tomorrow morning to Washington. We were going to try tonight but because I just had surgery, the Dr. wants me to get out of the car every hour so I don't have any blood clots in my legs that go to my heart. So that is going to make our 5 hour trip more like 6 or 7.
I am on strict bedrest with only bathroom privileges. I am still on procardia and I will be until delivery. I am still drinking my protein drinks.

We love you all and appreciate each and every one of you!!!!
Feel free to call anytime.

Thanks to my sister...

Thanks to my sister who has kept you all up to date!! Love you!

Boy, what a past two days!!! So Sunday as you could tell from my email, I didn't have much hope. I talked to the founder of TTTS foundation and was very much encouraged. Monday morning, I went in with that little bit of hope and it was soon taken away.

We had an ultrasound that morning and Emma was severely worse. She had developed hydrops. Hydrops is when the heart starts going into heart failure and produces fluid under the skin. I did not feel her move this weekend at all. So part of me was suprised just to see her heart beating that morning.

I was then prepped for surgery and waiting in my room with Mike and his parents. The Dr. came in to make sure we were all on the same page. He said he didn't think Emma would make it through the surgery. She was at a stage 4 (5 being death). He kept informing us that we could choose selective termination and let Emma pass so that Olivia had a better chance. Mike and I felt very strongly to let both our babies have a fighting chance. So at that moment we basically had no hope. They even asked us if we wanted a chaplain. I didn't. I wasn't ready to finalize our goodbyes. So once they said it was time for surgery and they had me ready to go, Mike asked for a minute alone with me and his parents. They stood around the bed surrounding me. It was very hard but he prayed an amazing prayer giving everything to God and praising Him for everything that was to be. We were all crying. I love that song "I will praise you in this storm and I will lift my head. You are who you are, no matter where I am. Every tear I cry, you hold in your hand. You never left my side, though my heart is torn. I will praise you in this storm".

So I'm rolled off to surgery and they all walk me down. The tears just wouldn't stop. They asked if I wanted to be completely awake or a little woozy. I wanted to be out as much as I could because I didn't want to cry through the whole thing.

I remember them doing all the prepping - epidural, etc. and then I was out. I was feeling great and then boom, I was awake. I wasn't too happy. Later I found out that I was sleeping so hard that I was snoring - how embarassing!! It was making my tummy go up and down too much so they had them pull back on the drugs. : )
They did give me some other drugs to get through. I remember waking up to hear that the placental share was either 60/40 or 50/50. I could feel the pressure of the laser. They had me wear laser glasses to protect my eyes while they were lasering in my belly. Afterwards, I was very sore, like someone had stabbed me. This fetoscope was about the length of a pencil (maybe a little longer) and I don't remember how big around. I just have a cut about the length of your fingernail. Very sore but not too bad.

The dr.s went to talk with Mike and the family and said things went well. All the dr.s were smiling which wasn't the case before. I got back to the room and they did an ultrasound which showed they were both alive. What a victory!!! Thank the Lord!!!

The night was rough being sore and having all the attachments to me but I didn't care. My girls were alive and I couldn't ask for more. By 12:30 a.m., I could not sleep so the nurses gave me a sleeping pill. I still had an i.v., cathater, leggings to keep my blood from pooling in my legs and creating blood clots plus I had compression boots on. I also had a moniter around my belly to moniter my contractions. So you can imagine it was hard to sleep. Anyway, I ended up sleeping 4 hours.

Mike came this morning and we had our ultrasound. Our girls were still alive (1st 24 hours was the most critical). Heartbeats were 158 and 159. Emma is still very sick. and we are still in a waiting period. Thursday will tell us more. We will have an echo and ultrasound and another team meeting. I am currently on strict bedrest - getting up only for bathroom privileges. and yes, I am doing well obeying. : )

Thank you sooooooooooooo much for all your prayers!!! Ali is right, we do have a bunch of fighters in our girls. It is so comforting to have peace from God during these times. It doesn't mean everyting is going to turn out perfect and go your way. But you trust that God is in control and there is such a peace behind that. Our faith has grown through this no matter the outcome.

We love you all!
I'm going to rest now.

I just got a call from Bethany...

I just got a call from Bethany and they have completed the ultrasound. Olivia and Emma's hearts are still beating. They are waiting for the doctor to analyze the ultrasound and then come and talk with them. They are not out of the woods yet - they say 24 hours after the surgery and then also the first 3 days is the most critical time. But it is looking hopeful! After they meet with the doctor this morning they are going to release her and then have her back on Thursday for another ultrasound and Echo.

I know this has been an emotional roller coaster for us all - especially Mike and Bethany. I know they feel all of your support and prayers! God is Faithful!!!

Bethany will probably send an update later today if she is up for it - if not you'll be hearing from me again!

We have 2 more little fighters on our hands:)

Love - Aunt Alison

Bethany had a good night...

Bethany had a good night - didn't sleep very well so they gave her something to help that. Her contractions have subsided so they did not have to give her Magnesium Sulphate. Her blood pressure and other vitals are doing good this morning. Mike is there with her and her ultrasound should be going on right now so we are standing by to hear the results of that. If everything goes well - Bethany will be released from the hospital today and go to my house on bedrest and then go back to the hospital on Thursday for a final checkup before heading back.

I will let you know when I hear anything more.

Thanks, Alison

From Grandmother...through her eyes....

As the 4 of us entered the hospital on Monday morning, and the medical staff began preparing Bethany for surgery, I felt increasingly aware of the fact that this surgery would change all our lives, most profoundly Emma’s and Olivia’s, and that nothing would ever be the same. When the head surgeon came in one last time (just before they took Bethany to surgery) the enormity of this situation weighed down even heavier on all of us. I remember the surgeon outlining, again, the probable results of each surgery choice given. Without actually saying it, he urged both Bethany and Michael to reconsider their choice, and to terminate Emma and thus give Olivia a chance at survival. When Bethany asked him how many babies he had treated in the same condition as Emma and Olivia (with their same choice of surgery) and had survived, he said “None!” It was like a blow to the stomach, it took your breath away. Both Michael and Bethany had prayerfully considered the options and were now unwavering in their determination to give both daughters a chance at survival and leaving it in God’s hands. As the surgeon left the room, there was much sadness in his demeanor. When two nurses then came into the room to wheel Bethany down the hall toward surgery, Mike asked if we could have a minute alone, and the nurses readily agreed. As we made a circle of clasped hands (Bethany, Michael, Tom and Linda) Mike uttered the most beautiful, yet simple, prayer I have ever heard. Among our sobs, he told the Lord that he and Bethany dearly loved these little girls and wanted them to be a part of their family, but if He had a different and better plan for them, to please give everyone the strength to accept and deal with it. I don’t know about everyone else, but at that very moment when Mike prayerfully released everything to God, my tears of pain and burden became tears of joy and release – no matter what happened, these little girls were firmly in God’s loving hands. What more could we ask for?! After the surgery, that same head surgeon came to give Mike the initial post-surgery report – and he was almost giddy. As he spoke in a tone of amazement and with a huge smile on his face, he stated that he couldn’t medically explain this situation, but that we still had 2 living baby girls! The next hours and days were critical times, but at this moment both girls had survived the surgery. Some of the rest of what he said is a blur to me (Mike and Tom will each probably remember different details) but the surgeon’s relief and amazement at their survival was clearly evident. This was to be one of many times that our little fighters have beaten the odds, and they continue to teach us that God is, indeed, in control. What a mighty God we serve!!!

Blessings,
Linda (Grandma Miklik)

Bethany is out of surgery...

Bethany is out of surgery. Olivia and Emma are both still alive. The doctor was very pessimistic going into the surgery but is much more light hearted now that they made it out. The placenta sharing is either 40/60 or 50/50. Which is wonderful news. Bethany heard the doctors say this during the surgery which was good. The next 24 hours are critical for the babies so they will be monitoring them very closely.

Please keep praying for them.

Bethany will give a lot more details when she can.

Love, Alison

Update on surgery...

Hello everyone! Just to give you an update.

Bethany didn't go back for surgery until a little after 2:00 EST. So she should be out around 5pm EST.

They did have an ultrasound this morning and everything still looked the same. Olivia was sucking her thumb and Emma was yawning.

I will write again as soon as I hear anything.

Thanks for all your prayers!

Alison

Tomorrow is coming...

It is 10:44 a.m. Tomorrow is coming. As I sit here I debate on whether to write down my feelings or not. I'm full of emotions and feel very heavy. I'm feeling Olivia move around. I feel or imagine to feel Emma only a little. She's always been my overactive girl. I know the pressure on her heart is slowing her down. I've been struggling to deal with my emotions ever since Friday. There are so many and I really don't feel like talking to people. The dr. didn't give us much hope...in fact, as he left the room he said "I'm sorry". I know God has a plan, I know He has known these babies even before they were conceived, I know He will see us through this - whatever the outcome. But it sure doesn't make it any easier.

In a way, I feel like I'm already going through the grieving process. I have grown attached and have seen our family as complete after we have these girls. So imagining life without them is an unbearable feeling of emptiness. I think back to the man who wrote "It is well...with my soul". I don't remember the exact details, but he had lost his family in some way and had some other stuff happen and he still was able to write that hymn. Amazing.

I'm going to go rest now. Just keep us in your prayers for strength. I know we will be o.k. whatever the outcome. Only God knows what tomorrow brings.

Sorry I didn't get to writing last night...

Sorry I didn't get to writing last night - yesterday was another long day. We left for the hospital around 9:30 a.m. and didn't get home til about 6:30 p.m. We had an echo to look at the babies hearts for a little over 2 hours long. Boy my back is really hurting from layin down so much this week. After that we checked and they told us to go eat lunch so we did. Then we went back up and they put us in a consultation room where we waited for 2 hours for the dr. to come in. They had several emergency surgeries that day. Well, the dr. finally came in.

Basically, the problem has switched. Olivia's heart has improved a little - still not great but better. Emma's heart is severe with several things - it's leaking, her heart valve is only pumping 10%, and there is more but I couldn't remember it if I tried. Bottom line, if we don't do something, there is 0% chance that either will live. So Monday morning, I will be going in for laser surgery. The surgery should be at 12:30 p.m. and take 3 hours. However, if there is a trauma or emergency surgery, we could always be pushed back that day. But we will have the surgery on Monday.

The surgery does not guarantee anything. We are dealing with Twin to Twin here and Growth Restriction - Placental Inefficiency. Because of that, the twins are basically portioned out their part of the placenta. If they go in and Emma has less than 20% of the placenta, she will not make it either way. They will not know how much they share until they are in there. He told us we would know within 3 days if we were going to lose one or both of them. The nurse said they almost always know within 24 hours. He told us we could lose them both, they both could live, one could die, the heart situation could reverse after the surgery where Olivia's heart would be the one having difficulty again. So anything can happen.

They will do an ultrasound before I go into surgery to make sure the problem is still there, etc. I will not be put out. I will have an epidural and some woozy medicine. So I should be coherent but obviously not make any decisions. Afterwards they will moniter me closely. I will stay in the hospital overnight. Before I leave the next day, they will do another ultrasound and see how things are. We will know then if they are both still living. From there, I will go back to Alison and Keith's (they have been wonderful), and rest until Thursday. On Thursday I will go in for an echo and see how things are. We will probably be going home on Thursday or Friday.

So I think that is it. The surgery will be at Children's Hospital of Cincinnati. They contract out nurses from Good Samaritan to come over and take care of me while I'm in the children's hospital.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

We love you all and we know this is in God's hands - His will be done.

Roller coaster...

Well, we are near King's Island and we feel like we've been riding a roller coaster. We forgot how it felt like this with Alyssa. Mike and I went in to Samaritan Hospital at 12:30 p.m. to register and have our amnio reduction done at 1:00 p.m. Well.......they did an ultrasound and checked our amniotic fluid levels and they had changed since last Friday. They were 4 and 8.4 Today they were 4.8 and 6.4 (around there). The normal range is 2 to 8. So with the numbers they had today, they really didn't see any benefit of doing the amnio. That was really good news. The dr. said the only thing now that is pointing to TTTS is the stress on Olivia's heart (I thought both hearts were stressed but I guess it was just Olivia).

So...where do we go from here? Friday we are scheduled for an Echo at 10:30 a.m. They will see if Olivia's heart is still under stress (she is moderate on a scale of mild, moderate or severe). If she is still under stress, we go in for laser surgery next week. If she is fine, they will eliminate TTTS and diagnose us as only growth restriction and I will go home to Washington on a monitering basis. Still bedrest, still eventually hospital bedrest and take the twins when Emma's growth stops or she is in distress. He thinks she has a good chance of growing to a survival range. So we are very thankful they did not proceed with this when not necessary. In a way, we are back at square one but in a better place. It looks like we are slowly eliminating things. So we'll just keep praying. It's amazing how much stronger we have been and trusting God with this more so than with Alyssa's situation.

Thanks for all the prayers - they are obviously working!!!!

It has been a relaxing weekend...

It has been a relaxing weekend. Mike will be leaving tomorrow after the amnio to go back home and work. The dr. said he would call me by 9:00 a.m. and to be ready to come in ASAP. He wants to get me in early if he can. I will know at that appointment the schedule for when he wants to see me back again to do the Echo to see if the babies hearts have improved. I'm guessing that will be Friday. If that is the case, Mike will come back Thursday evening after work. Linda might bring the girls up to see us on Friday. That is Loren's 1st birthday and I will be dying to see my girls!!!!! I already miss them tons. But I know they are having a GREAT time with grandparents, aunts and cousins.

I'm feeling better about the situation. It's giving up that controlling aspect and releasing my girls to God. They are His and I have to let Him hold them in their hands. I have to release the fear of losing them. But when I release them, it gives me peace. Peace that I don't have to fix everything and it's not up to me. God has a plan for them and I have to trust that His will will be done. As hard as that is, it's freeing. Going through it makes you not want to become attached, makes you not want to name them, not see their little personality on the screen. It makes you want to think of them as fetuses because you think it will be easier. But we don't want to miss this adventure and getting to know them. They are so sweet already and have these amazing personalities. So we will continue to open our hearts to them and get to know them and treasure each moment we share and continue to lean on God to help us through this time.

I didn't go into much detail medically the other day and I know some of you have questions. So I will try to go into it a little more. Just know that it is complex and it is fine if you don't want to read this section. When we came here, we had already heard from one dr. that she thought we had twin to twin. We heard from another dr. the day before we came that he thought we had growth restriction. So we were a little on the confused and overwhelmed side when we got here. When we met with the dr.s he told us we had both. In this case of understanding it would have been easier for him to say we had one or the other and not both. There are reasons for the growth restriction (which some of them fall under the TTTS).

Emma's umbilical cord is not attached in the best place (it's on the far side end of the placenta). Olivia's is attached right in the center of the placenta. Emma also only has 2 blood vessels in her umbilical cord (she is supposed to have 3). When the egg split, Olivia could have just gotten a bigger part of the egg than Emma. Twin to Twin transfusion Syndrome is a complication of multiple gestation resulting from imbalanced blood flow through vascular communications in the placenta, such that one twin is compromised and the other is favored. This contributes to the growth on the side of twin to twin.

So basically you have this placenta in the shape of a watermelon. Split down the middle is a thin membrane that seperates our two girls. There are arteries and veins that are coming from each twin to the membrane. The blood and nutrients flow from the twin to the membrane and are supposed to come back to that twin. Well, some of ours are not doing that. Some are going to the membrane and going through that to the other twin. So there is an imbalance of blood flow causing stress on both babies hearts. The laser surgery would go in, cauterize the ones that are flowing to the other baby so that blood flow is stopped. They would leave the ones that are acting correctly. This is a 91% survival rate of one or more twin in this case (taken at the month after delivery). So are chance are very good.

Statistics right now:

Emma is 9 oz. - measuring 19 weeks
Olivia is 16 oz. - measuring 21 weeks
Mommy - 22 weeks pregnant.

So they are actually both a little under in size.

The amnio reduction which I will have tomorrow, is 20-30% effective. They will insert a long needle into my belly button and extract some amniotic fluid off Olivia's sac. They are hoping to relieve some pressure from both hearts by doing this. I will be suprised if this works. But we are willing to give it a try before we go to surgery and we have time to try this. I will be able to go home afterwards and get back on bedrest.

Friday, they will do an echo and we will know whether we will proceed next week with the surgery.

I hope this explains a little more.

It is overwhelming to try to understand something so complex and make a big decision as far as what treatment to go through with. So that is why we have had some time to ourselves the past few days to really overanalyze our options.

Please send any questions our way. Please take care of my husband while I'm gone. (At least he won't have the kids with him). : ) I think he'll keep his focus on working on the basement.

Hello Family and Friends...

Hello Family and Friends,

First of all, thank you for being patient with us. It has been a very long day of testing and probing and we are done. After being so drained, we are not jumping to get on the phone and call people so bear with us.

The findings of today are this....
Our twins have the combination of 1) twin to twin transfusion syndrome and 2) growth restriction.
The good news is that Emma and Olivia have no birth defects. There is nothing big wrong with them as far as how they have grown and developed, even though they have a 40% growth difference. Emma is 9 oz. and Olivia is 1 pound.

The concern and problem right now is there is distress on both babies hearts. They do not have heart failure right now. But they can tell they are both working too hard. If nothing is done, we will lose both babies.

So my first order from the doctors is that I am now on bedrest.

Our two options are this
1) amnio reduction - they will go into the larger baby's amniotic sac and reduce some of the fluid. There is a 20-30% chance that this will work. It is less risky and we're willing to give it a shot. This procedure will probably be this coming Monday. One week from there, we will have another echo to see how the babies hearts are doing. If this has not helped relieve the stress then we go to option 2. I will remain in Cincinnati for the duration. Mike will most likely come back to work.

2) laser surgery - we will schedule surgery as soon as possible (once we know that option #1 didn't work) for that week. They will go in and cauterize the blood vessels. This is more risky but it has a 91% chance that one or both will survive.

So I think that is the basic information of it all. It was a big decision but we are trying to be wise with our choices on how to proceed.

The other thing, while they did my MRI, they found a massive cyst on my left kidney. Once we take care of this situation I will go see a urologist. But right now the twins come first.

So I think I'm done. I might write tomorrow when some of my brain cells have returned.

Love you lots and thanks for the prayers!!

I talked with the lady last night...

I talked with the lady last night for about an hour who founded the Twin to Twin Syndrome Foundation. She seems to think there is another problem going along with the TTTS. I'm not going to go into it because I don't fully understand it. But it is a problem that can't be corrected. It would require being in the hospital starting at 24 weeks with 24 hour monitoring to watch the small one - for the placenta to run out, for Emma to stop growing and at that point they would take both Emma and Olivia. It could be early, it could be later. This is only a possibility right now.

We are going into this not really knowing for sure anything. There will be many options given to us to consider. A lot of this also depends how bad I am at that point. You have to be at a certain point for the surgery. If I went to the dr. in Wisconsin, I would be bad enough to do the laser surgery. (Because Emma and Olivia are at a 43% growth difference as of last Thursday). That dr. does the surgery if they are over 40% difference. However, I do not know how Cincinnati works. There are other things they can do besides the laser but aren't necessarily effective. There is one that I definitely don't want to do. It's not really proven to make a difference and is too much risk to the babies.

So if you could pray for Mike and I to have wisdom to make the right decision of the procedure we choose (if that is how it works). I have started high protein shakes 3 times a day to help them out and also myself. If I'm going into surgery, I need to be healthy also. The doctor that invented the laser surgery recommends the protein shakes, sipping it laying down on your left side. So that is what I'm doing.

I am staying busy packing and trying to leave my house in a condition that will be good for whatever outcome.

Thanks for your prayers! I will update you again on Friday night after our long day at the hospital.