Solution

O.K. so last week was pretty overwhelming for me. The "mommy guilt" just took over from not being able to give more to my kids and my husband. But also the stress and frustration was there of not giving myself any time. And in the end, just feeling like a complete failure.
Well...yesterday we had lunch with some of our great friends. As I was talking with my girlfriend, Courtney, she suggested that I try a schedule. She gave me some suggestions and after we talked for a little bit, I warmed up to the idea. The only reason I was held back from the schedule before is that my life is so crazy with dr. appointments and preschool, etc. But she really gave me some good ideas. So I tried it today and it actually was really nice!! I get up at 5:00 a.m. to get Mike's food ready for the day and iron. We both work out for 1/2 hour. Three of my girls got up at 7:00 a.m. So I fed them and then I had some time to myself (cleaning, etc.) until about 9:00 a.m. Then I fed the twins and got them down for a nap. Then I got ready. By 10:00 a.m. the stress of getting things done was over because that time frame was over. Lunch at 11:00 a.m. Alyssa to preschool from 12:15-2:45. During that time I have one on one time with Loren (usually she gets a nap which I have to wake her up from to go get Alyssa). Instead, I put Loren down at 3:00 p.m. and spend some quality time with Alyssa. We'll see how things go but so far it has taken away some of the stress. Thanks Court!
Tomorrow afternoon I have an endocrinology appointment for Emma. I think she is close to 9 lbs. but we'll see with tomorrow's measurements. That would be nice. She has really turned a corner. She is stronger and more demanding (especially with food). That is really good.
So I will leave you with something funny. Tonight Mike and I were on the couch with the twins. Loren comes in with only a shirt on. So I'm trying to decide whether to freak out or not. Alyssa ran into their bathroom and saw that there was poop in her potty chair. She had gone in there, taken her pants off and diaper, sat on her potty chair and pooped!!! She has never even pooped on the potty before let alone without any assistance. She has shown so many signs of physically being ready but I'm like not now. My life is crazy as it is. But here she is potty training herself. I couldn't believe it!!!! Bad Mom!!!
Well off to bed. I will post after tomorrow's appointment. I'm praying that her calcium level is completely normal. That would be great!!!