Real quick...

Real quick and then I'm off to bed. The lab tests came back with Emma's calcium levels. They were still mild. They came down from 11.6 to 11.3. It's mildly high but they said that just might be how her body works. We had a kidney sono Monday followed by a urology appointment. (I took all four girls to the hospital for 4 hours - Yes you can say Supermom). People kept asking if they were all mine. Everything looked better. Her kidney stones are smaller and her calcium buildup (Nephrocalcinosis) is going down. This is really good news. She said it's mostly from the lasix and it should all go away. She wants to see Emma again in May with another sono. So this is all good news.
Things are going well. Emma has been off of oxygen for a little over 2 weeks now. Wonderful!!!! It truly is great!!! She sats between 94 and 99 during the night. During the day it is hard to get a reading because she is so active. Hopefully, her Feb. 10th NICU appointment will take off all machines and we will be cord-free. That would be great!!

Pictures

Here are a few of the pictures Becky took. She is amazing!!! I really loved how they turned out. Thanks Becky!!!!

8 months old

Can you believe the girls are 8 months old today? Crazy!!! Emma rolled over yesterday for the 1st time. She is really coming along!! I think Olivia is cutting more teeth. I just need to put a permanent bib on her. Drool everywhere!! I don't have much time to blog today - much to do. Alyssa has a p.j. party at preschool. I wish I could have one. But I would want to sleep. Ben and Becky came down and stayed with us for a few days. It was so good to visit with them. Becky took some awesome pictures of the girls!! Hopefully I can post some soon. She is a sweetheart!! and takes really great pictures!! It was our first professional ones without the nasal cannula. Beautiful!!! Have a wonderful day!!!

Just another day..

Let's see....not a whole lot happening here. Actually I'm trying to remember what I've written lately. We had Alyssa's eye appointment last Thursday. Not so good. Her eye has not improved. It hasn't gotten any worse but not any better either. The problem is that her glasses have a hard time staying up on her nose which makes wearing the patch pointless. She must look through the lense while wearing the patch to make any improvements. So we had them readjusted there. She has been doing much better with looking through the lense. We started a new sticker/patch chart. And we do 2 treats at the beginning and 1 treat at the end. She just has to make sure she brushes her teeth really well. Her Grandma M. also helps with some rewards (Alyssa calls them "patch prizes"). So we will do our best to make this a better outcome. If in 3 months she has not improved, we will start contacts only while under my supervision. It would be his youngest patient with contacts. Obviously, we are not wanting that to happen but we also don't want to lose this eye. So we'll see.
Loren is still pretty much naked all the time. Most of the day I'm just trying to get her diaper back on. It's lovely. I tried big girl Dora panties the other day and she peed on the carpet within the first couple minutes. Yep, we're done trying that. So we'll just see where this takes us.
Olivia is more dramatic than ever. She cries most of the time like you crushed her feelings. She has such cute smiles and loves to be held. She is rolling over like a mad woman. She has 2 cute bottom teeth. She has had about 5 haircuts so far. She keeps taking out Emma's pacifier and putting it in her mouth. Which is funny because Olivia won't take a pacifier.
Emma is getting stronger by the minute. She eats very well. She is very strong and growing more and more each day. Her last weight check was 8 lb. 14 oz. I'm still waiting to hear the results from her lab work. Hopefully we'll find out tomorrow. She has been completely off oxygen for a week. No help at all. Being inside has really helped her. It is great not having the oxygen. She is still on 2 machines and will be for probably a month. This way we can watch her saturation level. That tells us if she needs more oxygen. They other is her apnea monitor which she really doesn't need but I don't know if I can get out of having it on her. I wish. The more machines, the more of a pain it is. We have a kidney sono next week and a urology appointment. In February we have another NICU appointment. Hopefully at that time we will be able to come off all machines and be done with the oxygen for good.
My days are a little better. I just have to be easy on myself and not set my expectations too high. I have to keep telling myself that this is a time and it will get better as the girls become more independant. Right now, every one is just very needy. I'll just keep praying my way through.
I need to get cleaning and then sleeping.
Love to you all!

Needing some help...

I'm needing to know if there is anyone that can help out taking Alyssa to and from preschool. It's Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 12:15 to 2:45 p.m. It is at Crossroads Methodist Church on the corner of 24 and Main. Emma is off of oxygen and doing well. But I'm finding when I take her out in this cold, she needs some help with the oxygen. So my hands are tied. Or even if someone could come sit with my kids while I take her. I can pay some each week for gas and time. My email is miklikmb@yahoo.com if you think you could help out.
Thanks!

Sweet, cute Loren

Loren is very creative in dressing herself. I never have to put anything on her to take these silly pictures. She'll just walk in the room looking like this and I know what closet or drawer she has raided. And I know what I will have to clean up. I love this girl!!!!

So a quick update about our appointment yesterday. Good news is that Emma has gained 8 oz. in 10 days. She now weighs 8 lb. 14 oz. We're getting there. She is off of oxygen for the most part. The only time I put it on her is when she is sleeping. And that isn't every time. It depends how well she is satting. If it goes below 90, I usually put it on. I love seeing her face with nothing on it. She is beautiful!!! All they did yesterday was draw her blood. I will know the results in a few days. If everything is normal, we will be done seeing the endocrinologist. We'll see what comes up!!

Pictures

Solution

O.K. so last week was pretty overwhelming for me. The "mommy guilt" just took over from not being able to give more to my kids and my husband. But also the stress and frustration was there of not giving myself any time. And in the end, just feeling like a complete failure.
Well...yesterday we had lunch with some of our great friends. As I was talking with my girlfriend, Courtney, she suggested that I try a schedule. She gave me some suggestions and after we talked for a little bit, I warmed up to the idea. The only reason I was held back from the schedule before is that my life is so crazy with dr. appointments and preschool, etc. But she really gave me some good ideas. So I tried it today and it actually was really nice!! I get up at 5:00 a.m. to get Mike's food ready for the day and iron. We both work out for 1/2 hour. Three of my girls got up at 7:00 a.m. So I fed them and then I had some time to myself (cleaning, etc.) until about 9:00 a.m. Then I fed the twins and got them down for a nap. Then I got ready. By 10:00 a.m. the stress of getting things done was over because that time frame was over. Lunch at 11:00 a.m. Alyssa to preschool from 12:15-2:45. During that time I have one on one time with Loren (usually she gets a nap which I have to wake her up from to go get Alyssa). Instead, I put Loren down at 3:00 p.m. and spend some quality time with Alyssa. We'll see how things go but so far it has taken away some of the stress. Thanks Court!
Tomorrow afternoon I have an endocrinology appointment for Emma. I think she is close to 9 lbs. but we'll see with tomorrow's measurements. That would be nice. She has really turned a corner. She is stronger and more demanding (especially with food). That is really good.
So I will leave you with something funny. Tonight Mike and I were on the couch with the twins. Loren comes in with only a shirt on. So I'm trying to decide whether to freak out or not. Alyssa ran into their bathroom and saw that there was poop in her potty chair. She had gone in there, taken her pants off and diaper, sat on her potty chair and pooped!!! She has never even pooped on the potty before let alone without any assistance. She has shown so many signs of physically being ready but I'm like not now. My life is crazy as it is. But here she is potty training herself. I couldn't believe it!!!! Bad Mom!!!
Well off to bed. I will post after tomorrow's appointment. I'm praying that her calcium level is completely normal. That would be great!!!

I don't know how people do this....

How do you juggle all the balls in the air and not let any drop? How do you find time to read let alone pee? How do you console 4 children at the same time? I don't know how people do it. Loren just walks around with her arms up all the time wanting me to hold her. The other day I noticed that anytime I said "Let's go change your diaper", she would wiggle right out of my arms and run away. So I've said that a few times just so I could get a break. Tonight I was holding the twins - feeding them at the same time. Loren starts to take off her diaper so I told Alyssa just to take it the rest of the way off and put on a pull-up. Well, the diaper came off and Alyssa said "Mom, she pooped". Before I knew it Alyssa was holding up the small poop in her hand. I told her to put it in the diaper, throw it away and immediately go wash her hands. So she goes in one bathroom and we are trusting Loren to get her naked self in to the other bathroom to go in her potty. That is a whole other thing. Loren will pee every time you put her on the potty. The thing is she is not really talking (actual words that you can understand) that well. The last thing I have time to do is potty train her. But it would sure be nice to have one less diaper to change. I'm the one going "Hold on, I'm not ready for this". I know...other moms would welcome it.
I hope the twins are going through a phase. Olivia already cut her teeth so I don't know what her problem is. Emma is probably cutting hers. They both want to be held all the time and not just held. Oh no, you can't hold them sitting down. You must hold them standing up. Olivia is very dramatic. She cries like you just broke her heart or she lost her best friend. Emma has always been very laid back and has lately spoken her mind. Again...I don't understand. I just pray that this time passes and I survive it. If you ever come over to my house, just prepare for the worst cuz I can't get a darn thing done. Mike said last night that I need a break. Sadly, my break request is that he watches the kids so that I can clean. What has this life come to? Probably testing my patience....seeing if I'm cut out for it. I don't remember trying out. Hee hee!
Anyway, I'm off my soap box.
We enjoyed seeing everyone over Christmas. It was a good time and a much needed getaway. Emma is doing well. She is either off of oxygen or on 1/32. Just depending if she is congested at all or if I'm paranoid that she is burning calories. Next week is Emma's endocrinologist appointment. Next week is also Alyssa's eye appointment. In the following weeks, Emma will have a kidney sono and a urologist appointment. So we'll see how all this goes. I'm praying that her calcium level has gone down and her calcium buildup in her kidneys is gone. Wouldn't that be great?
Well, I need to get to bed. I hope I eventually catch up with life so I can write more and have more me time. I love my children like no other but I can't lose myself in the midst of motherhood.

Lots of catching up...

First off let me say that I do have a lot of catching up but I think I need to get through this week first. I have decided that I'm at a stage right now that I can not get ANYTHING done. It is my highest frustration. Loren is very clingy - not sure why - I would blame it on teeth but I'm pretty sure she has them all. She wants to be held every minute. The twins are very clingy. Loren throws herself on the floor if I hold one of the twins and not her. Olivia cut her bottom two teeth over Christmas!!! Yea!!! But they are still working there way up. They have cut through but still have some room to grow. So I don't know if Emma is cutting hers too. I'm up to my elbows in laundry, dirty dishes, unpacking, ironing, dirty diapers....etc..... So I will end this as Olivia is screaming for me.

We're back!!!

I know it has been forever and I'm sorry. We were gone for 2 weeks and are very glad to be back. We had a good time. We had a round of a little bit of sickness but no colds so that is good. Christmas morning Emma came off oxygen. Mike opened a card from Emma saying how great of a daddy he is and how much she loves him and that she wanted him to remember this Christmas of when she came off of oxygen at 4:00 a.m. She has been doing well ever since.
We got our computer fixed too. Yea! So I can write again. I would love to write more but I really have to get our Christmas decorations down. Enjoy the pictures!!