I got to Kangaroo Care today with Olivia...

I got to Kangaroo Care today with Olivia. She had done so well that they let me hold her. She was so incredibly sweet! Her little 2 and a half pound self left me feeling like I was just holding some blankets. Just no weight at all. She slept the entire time and was loving the warmth of our skin to skin touch and just being held close. I got to touch her little face and stroke her hair. Her hair is a lot lighter outside of the incubator.

I changed a very poopy diaper of Emma and a wet one of Olivia. I also took Olivia's temperature. I am getting a little more comfortable with the smallness of these girls.

Not much of an update but here goes. Both girls are on the same track with the meds and it seems to be helping. They will take their last dose tomorrow morning. They took spinal fluid off Emma yesterday to test for infection (mostly meningitis). They think it will be negative but they are making sure. Chest x-rays are improving with Emma. She is still on C-pap with a little help of oxygen. She is digesting better. She lost a little weight. For the most part, she is still doing well.
Olivia - has not stooled in a couple of days. They took her off feeds yesterday and it lessened her bradocardias and apnea episodes. They started her feed back up today and she seemed to do better with it this time.
They will do an echo on both girls Monday to see how the meds helped close the vein that connects the two arteries in the heart. The oxygen was not getting to all the places it should. We'll just leave it at that because I find it hard to understand let alone explain. : )

Oh and I did find out that my PIH (pregnancy induced hypertension (high blood pressure)) causes some things in the babies they are trying to level out - such as white blood cells, red blood cells, platelet counts, etc. So I found that interesting. Yesterday at my appointment, not being on the procardia, I saw my true blood pressure of 158/100. It will take me about 6 weeks to get it out of my system. That is how it was with Alyssa too. Soon I will be back down to my normal of 112/68. It is so interesting how my body reacts to pregnancy.

I saw the urologist about my kidney today. He said that he doesn't think it is anything serious but they want to make sure. I'm having a sono next week on it. He said it is bigger than what he would like but he said there is a 1% chance that it is bad. He said he wants to see it as just being a round circle with no growths on the inside. If there is, then it is serious. If everything is fine, he wants to check it every year or two. With all my experience, I'm not always comforted by percentages. : ) But I am not worried about this. We'll just see.

I am getting my strength back and it is wonderful. I have 2 months of built up energy and I'm loving it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm already looking into painting the bathrooms. : )

We have been adjusting to our new schedule...

We have been adjusting to our new schedule and life change along with trying to recover. Trying to divide our time between our two daughters at home and our two daughters in the NICU. So I do apologize. I know it has to be like you are reading a book and it just stops all of sudden and you need to read the rest to see how it ends. Or like at our house, when you are watching a movie and your cable goes out. : )

It has only been one week and we are already feeling the roller coaster. You can have a day with an emotional breakdown when things are fine. Then you have days when you feel strong and they might not be doing as well, but you are able to look to tomorrow and feel positive. It is the hard times when you feel helpless, when you just look at their face or their lungs that are working so hard to breathe and you know there is nothing you can do. It is moving from Emma's bedside to go to Olivia's bedside and realizing that Olivia could probably eat Emma for breakfast. : ) Both girls are still on a c-pap so you can barely see their face. They have recently been taken off of the jaundice light so you can now see their eyes. They haven't opened them yet but it is nice to see a little more of their face. They are doing way better than expected but are still fighting normal premature issues. Olivia has episodes of apnea of prematurity where she forgets to breathe. Emma is on about 25% oxygen through her c-pap. They are both struggling to digest their milk. They are in a phase right now where they are priming their gut. It is a testing phase where they see how much they are processing without overdoing their little bodies.

Emma is doing really well as far as healing from her collapsed lungs. Both girls had an echocardiogram today. They were basically looking to see if their PDA has closed. I'm not sure how to explain it but it is something in the heart that needs to be closed. Most babies close within 24 to 48 hours after birth. Premature babies have a hard time closing theirs and usually need some help with medication. Emma and Olivia both need help. So they were started on this medication tonight and will have 3 doses - tonight, 12 hours, and 24 hours. The great news is that this should help a lot with their respiration and with their digesting their foods. They have to watch when they give them these meds that it isn't too hard on their kidneys.

Olivia has been taken off the humidity. Emma is still at 80% humidity inside their incubators. The nurse said tomorrow if Olivia has behaved all night and tomorrow morning that I might be able to Kangaroo Care with her tomorrow. This is when I would put on a hospital gown and have her lay on my chest. It can only be done for an hour. It all depends on how she does with her oxygen and apnea episodes. I think the nurse was trying to encourage me because I wasn't having the best time tonight. So we'll see. I definitely don't want to do anything to set her back.

So I guess that is the sum of how the girls are doing. They are both around their birth weight.

These pictures make the girls look much bigger than they really are. Let me see if I can let you imagine how big they are. Mike could hold Emma in the palm of his hand. Emma's hand is the size of my fingernail. Olivia is over twice the size of Emma. Their diapers are smaller than a deck of cards. The pictures might look a little blue from the lights.

I am having my appointment tomorrow with the urologist to see what the next step (consultation) is for my cyst on my left kidney. I will write and let you know what they say and if anything changes with the girls.

Keep praying for their respiratory system, their growth and their feedings. Thank you all for keeping up with our girls!!!!

I was discharged from the hospital this afternoon...

Hi to Everyone!!! Thank you all for walking along with us on this journey!!

Thank you Alison for updating everyone.

I was discharged from the hospital this afternoon. I'll update you a little and attach some pictures.

On Thursday, the Dr. had come in and we talked about what we should do. He basically said they are under stress but at this point are still healthy. He said they could wait another week but he didn't think I would make it that long. He also said that if they waited another week that we would be chancing not having 2 healthy girls. So we both agreed that we should take them while they are still "healthy". So we had a c-section on Thursday night. Mike was able to be in there with me. It was a different experience since my first two births were natural.

We had talked before surgery about the fact that Fetinal in pain meds make me itch. So they decided to give me another drug. Well, to their surprise all pain meds had worn off before I went to recovery. So for an hour, I had nothing and was in the worst pain in the world. They eventually had to go get someone to give me something while they were waiting for my drugs to come up from the pharmacy. Because of the pain, I could not pump or see my daughters.

The delivery went well. They were both crying when they came out. They were so tiny that they sounded like little animals - like kitties. Olivia has dark hair and Emma being smaller had some hair but not as much. They are very sweet! They expected them to both go on the vent. However, to their surprise, neither of them needed it.

There is so much info. I'm just going to give a summary of the last few days. Emma needed a platelet transfusion right away and has since then had one more. They both have jaundice - which is very common with my children. They are both tanning under the light. Emma's glucose was high but is now fine. They were concerned with Emma's kidneys but after some tests, they are fine. There have been a few episodes of apnea of prematurity but seem to be doing fine now. I might be missing some info. but I'm just going to fill you in on how they are right now.

Emma - was put on the ventilator this morning. She is having to work way too hard to breathe. Her right lung collapsed yesterday and her left side is starting to do the same so they decided it was time to give her some help. Since she has been on it, she has improved a lot. All her tests have improved. She was on 75% oxygen and improved to 40%. Her last chest x-ray showed improvement with more oxygen in her lungs. So in the meantime, we let her rest and heal. She is a fighter.

Olivia - is doing great! She has started feeds and has always been on room air. They are being very careful right now testing her gut to see if she can handle food.

We will continue to watch them both as we have good days and not so good days. It's the saying "2 steps forward, 1 step back". I will be better at updating now that I am home. Keep praying for their growth and health and strength since they are so tiny. It will be nice when they are bigger and stronger and we can hold them. We can't even see their faces to see how much alike they look. Love you all and thanks to everyone!!!

I will write again soon. : )

These pictures are of Olivia -- I will post some of both next time

Welcome to the world, baby girls...

The girls - Loren and Alyssa - got there about an hour and a half before the surgery so they were able to go and see Bethany - both were very excited to see her. They took her back a few minutes before 9pm to get started on the c-section.

Emma Grace was born at 9:25 p.m. and weighed more than they thought at 1 lb 6 oz. She was 12 inches long.

Olivia Michelle was born at 9:27 p.m. and weighed 2 lbs 9.4 oz. She was 14 inches long.

They were crying when they came out and pink which was good.
Neither one of them needed ventalators but they did put masks on their faces to help them breathe.

They did ventalate them later to give them some medicine and they had to give Emma a blood transfusion.

Bethany didn't get the regular epidural because it gives her a very allergic itching reaction but because of that - the meds they gave her weren't as strong and wore off quicker so she felt lots of pressure during the surgery and she was in excruiciating pain towards the end and afterwards. It took an hour to get more medicine - it was horrible. They finally got something that would work and she is doing better this morning. Because of the pain last night she did not see the girls - so she will see them this morning.

Mike was able to see both of the girls.

She is at OSF - St. Francis hospital in Peoria, Illinois if anyone wants to know.

They were born the day before Bethany's b-day which is today. Very exciting. I'm sure there will be pictures coming at some point and I will pass them along.

Please continue to pray for recovery for Bethany and for growth and health for the little ones. Also for Loren and Alyssa as they have been so patient and good while their mommy has been away.

I'll send more updates as I get them.

Love, Auntie Alison

Bethany will have her c-section tonight...

Bethany will have her c-section tonight at 9 Central time so 10 EST.

Please be praying and I will update you in the morning as soon as I'm awake and I know anything.

The doctors were deciding when to have the surgery and they went to look at the schedule to see who was on duty tonight and tomorrow morning and they said the best perssonel on staff for these babies are working tonight so they decided tonight will be it. God has His hand in every detail of this and we are trusting in Him.

Thanks for the prayers - Love, Auntie Alison

A c-section either tonight or tomorrow morning...

Just wanted to let you know that they have told Bethany that they are going to do a c-section either tonight or tomorrow morning. We do not know for sure. This is not an emergency - they want to deliver them while they are still in good health before they go into more distress. Obviously Emma is under stress so they think it will be better for her outside of the womb. I will let you know the exacts when we find out.

Thanks, Alison

Bethany and the babies are being monitored 24/7...

Hello everyone! I don't have a lot of information and my facts might be a little scewed because I don't understand all of this but I'll try.

Bethany and the babies are being monitored 24/7. The doctor came in yesterday and talked with her. They said Emma has something called reverse flow in the umbilical chord. These aren't the medical terms but this is what is happening. Emma is getting her oxygen and nutrients - just not gaining weight from what we understand. So they said that they think they will be taking the babies soon and they might have to do an emergency c-section. Bethany told them she would like to make it to 30 weeks next Thursday and the doctor kind of gave her an "I don't think you'll make it that long look". They will be looking for stress on the heart and decrease in activity in Emma. With it being an emergency surgery - she said Mike might not have time to get there because he works 20 minutes away. Hopefully this will not happen - they will also have to put her completely out if this happens.

Please pray for God's perfect timing and His hand to be on those little girls, please pray for peace and trust for Bethany and Mike and great wisdom for the doctors to know when the right time is.

Mike's parents are still bringing the girls back to Illinois on Thursday night and will be there for the weekend and then my mom will be going back down next Tuesday. Bethany and Mike are really missing the girls. Also, Bethany's birthday is on Friday so this will be one she never forgets.

Thank you all for caring so much and for your prayers.

I will keep you updated when I get more news.

Thanks, Alison

Good and not so good news...

We had an appointment today. Good and not so good news. Good news is the babies are doing really well. Hearts look good, they are active, healthy, etc. There is one alarm though. Emma has not grown in two weeks. She is still at 1 lb. 2 oz. Olivia is now 2 lb. 10 oz. They can only speculate on why Emma is not growing. There are many possibilities but they won't know for sure until the placenta has been delivered and they can examine it to see the exact cause. So it has come down to this - they want to buy some more time. So Mike will be taking me to the hospital tonight and I will be there until they are born. I will be monitered 3-4 times a day. I will have an ultrasound every day or every other day. They will be watching for any kind of stress on the babies hearts (especially Emma). Looking for deceleration on the heartbeats, not being active, any stress at all. If there is any sign, we take the girls immediately. I am 28 1/2 weeks. If I can make it til next Thursday the 29th, we will have reached 30 weeks. I know it sounds scarey with Emma so tiny but with how many weeks she is - it is good. Her insides are at a good stage. Obviously any time we can buy right now is good. The one thing I emphasized with the Dr. was that I am not willing to put Emma in a worse position just to buy Olivia more time. We want them to both have a fair shot. I'm not choosing one over the other. So basically I said, "Don't wait until Emma is in heart failure to do something".

So now we wait. My blood pressure was good too so that is good.

I have got to get going. You can always email one of my sisters if you have any questions. Alison should be keeping you up to date.
Much love to you all and we'll just keep praying for these little ones.

Mike took me to my dr. apt. today...

Mike took me to my dr. apt. today with my OB. My BP was 128/84 - very good!!! The heartbeats were 153 and 142. I'm 28 weeks today and measuring 31 weeks. All good news!

I have lost another pound. My total weight gain for this pregnancy is 16 pounds. She said that is o.k. since I'm on bed rest. That could be still reducing of water weight and loss of muscle mass. I'm on my 6th week of bed rest. I miss my kids more than ever. They are having a blast in Kokomo with grandparents doing piggy back rides and watching sound of music and buying hats from the store. Dad said he checked on Loren and she was sleeping while rubbing the fringes on her blanket. She loves her blankets. Alyssa told me that Grandma Miklik took her to the store and they bought hats for her and her cousins. She was so excited she got a princess hat like Ashlynn. Mom and Alyssa play games all day and Grandma and Grandpa Miklik get the girls at night.

Mike is trying to get going on the basement so that is good. He is ordering drywall today. The framing is almost done. So next is electrical and insulation, then drywall.

I'm trying to take more naps and watching movies and reading when I feel like it. I have my up and down days. It's such a turmoil inside wanting this to be over and yet wanting more time for the girls to grow. It's so hard and yet things could be so much worse. Every day I get through is a mountain I've climbed - another race I've completed.

The Dr. today said I can try natural delivery as long as they are both head down. Otherwise, it's C-section. I would like to try natural but I'm open for the c-section.

She seemed hopeful that I could go to 36 weeks as long as my blood pressure remains down. Until then we just continue with the waiting game.

As hard as it is, we are in a really good spot right now. We're just praying that these girls put on some weight!!!! We'll find out Monday what they weigh.

We had an ultrasound yesterday...

We had an ultrasound yesterday and things went really well. My BP was 119/80 so they were pleased and I bought myself 3 more days. Thursday I will go to my OB where they will check it again. We will stay in this rotation until the twins are born. Monday, Thursday, Monday, Thurs. etc.

The fluid levels were good. The hearts looked good. They are both active - Emma way more than Olivia. It's amazing how their personalities are so evident in them already. Emma is just like Alyssa - never stops and wants you to know she is there. Olivia is just like Loren - more mellow and calm and just goes with the flow. : )

The only new information we found out is this (I will do my best to try to explain this but I'm not completely comprehending it either).

Last week they noticed that the umbilical cord had a reversal flow for Emma. They did not tell us this at the time (we found out yesterday). As far as I understand that meant that the oxygenated blood was not flowing back to Emma. So yesterday they let us know this mostly to tell us that there is an absence of it now and that is really good. There is no reversal flow. To me that means that might have been the reason for her only gaining 4 oz. where her sister had gained 9 oz. So the good news is now that this is gone, we have hope that she might be growing more. We will find out next Monday at 1:15 p.m.

So overall, we had great news yesterday!! I'm still horizontal and am trying to enjoy it. He said he didn't want me on any cold and sinus medicine because it increases your blood pressure. He did say I could take benedryl to help sleep. But I'm trying without for now. I'm catching a little sleep during the day for what I'm missing at night.

Mike and I are doing well - just treasuring each day and knowing everyday is giving them a better chance at life. Loren and Alyssa are spending time with grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins and loving every minute of it. I do miss them and pray they aren't being damaged from getting less of me for the last 5 weeks but I know they love family and are doing well. Alyssa asked me if I can pick her up again after the babies are born and take her to the park. She got scissors out on Sunday to help Grandma open her mother's day gift and she told me that I need to rest and help the babies get bigger and not poke them with the scissors. She can be such a mom - it's cute!! She is such a doll. Loren is cutting her mollars so I know she enjoys the cuddling she is getting from family. I know she will probably be walking during this time away and I'm o.k. with that. I know she could do it now if she would just let go but she is so cautious.

Well, thanks again to all our family and friends for helping us through this time!!!!
We could never begin to describe our appreciation to you all!!!

We love you and will let you know what happens Thursday.

Yes, I am home and it's great...

Yes, I am home and it's great!!! I am laying down except to pee and shower but it definitely beats the hospital. My parents left this afternoon with our girls until Memorial Day weekend. Mike's parents will come up for that weekend and bring the girls with them. I will miss them tons but again, they are better off there and I am too. Alyssa will miss her preschool graduation and picnic but that is o.k. She has had a great time this year at preschool and will be going back next year - she has had the best teacher and classmates.

The hospital was o.k. I had a roommate that was sick with bronchitis and coughing all the time. I now have a cold and am coughing but I hope it goes away quickly. They basically ran a lot of tests and could not find anything so they sent me home. Like Ali said, I have 2 appointments a week. One will be an ultrasound and BP check with the specialists. The other will be with my OB for a BP check and anything else they want to do. Mike will be taking me since I cannot drive. I hope it doesn't get old with him having to take breaks from work but you gotta do what you gotta do.

I am on BP medicine. I do not like it. I take my BP before to make sure it is not too low (not possible). It hangs around 143/84 with my pulse at 75. As soon as I take my pills, my BP goes down to 122/60 with a pulse of 120. My pulse is what is killing me. It feels like a mixture of an anxiety attack and heart attack. The meds make me dizzy, light-headed, nauseated, heart pounding, etc. Since I take them every 6 hours, I have to wake up at 2:00 a.m. to take them and have a lot of trouble sleeping. I almost slept better in the hospital because they gave me sleeping pills.

So tomorrow my appointment is at 1:30 p.m. They won't get the weight of the babies but they will check to make sure they are growing. I'll email tomorrow with the report unless I have BP issues and I'm back in the hospital. Then Ali will have to write again. I've debated whether to pack my bags or not. I know next time I'm in, I'm in for good.

I will be 28 weeks this Thursday which is good. Obviously, I would love to get to 36 weeks but I'm taking it a day at a time. 28, then 30, then 32, and so on.

Mike and Dad put up the baby bed today (that they will share until about 4 months when we decide to buy another crib - which will make 3 cribs in our house!!!).

They way I look at it is it is either bedrest or NICU and right now - bedrest sounds soo much better.

Thanks for all the support!! This time will pass and then we can breathe easier. : )