So I keep going back and forth whether to keep up this blog...my life feels crazy most of the time and usually I feel like I'm fighting to keep my head above water and not drown. Most of the time I can't remember what I've written in the previous blogs and yet I don't have time to go back and read them. It has been a crazy summer and I wish I could say that it is going to settle down for me to write more but I don't know that. I think it is also two sided - somewhat theraputic to talk about things and also very stressful to talk about these stresses. Interesting...So I guess for now, I will keep doing what I can. : )

My girls are growing up! Alyssa just started 1st grade. The first week was not good. She had a tummy ache every morning, didn't want to go and wouldn't eat breadfast. Once she realized it wasn't that much different from Kindergarten, she began to really enjoy it. She tends to always be scared of the unknown. Alyssa and all her cousins had the chance to go on a coast guard ship last month. She didn't want to go and cried and cried so she didn't go. Once her cousins came off safe, she cried because she wanted to go. Such a silly bug! Alyssa is the sweetest, most sensitive of my children. I adore her and think she is beautiful! She has an MRI September 15th. It will be the first time that she will get an i.v. without being masked or sedated first. It should be very interesting. This MRI will tell us if she is ready for her open heart surgery to replace her pulmonary valve. The x-ray and echocardiogram showed that her heart is enlarged significantly more. The MRI will show an exact measurement. I am nervous to do this. I'm not ready to go through such a big surgery. But I know it will be soon. The more she grows, the more her heart holds too much blood and stretches. We can't let that be stretched too much for too long. Alyssa also starts her orthodontic work this month. We will start with an expander and then progress to braces and headgear. All this will lead to a bone graph surgery taking bone out of her hip and putting it in her gums. They will also do any orthodontic work while doing the bone graph...taking out extra teeth, moving things around, etc. Thankfully, she is looking forward to the braces part of it. She really wants her teeth to be pretty and straight. As far as her eyes go, she is wearing her contact to school but patching is very limited. She is very smart and does very well in school. I'm so proud of her!!

Loren is starting preschool next week. She is very excited and has been putting on her shoes everyday since Alyssa has started and cries when she hears that her school doesn't start yet. She is at a very cute age. She says all her c's and k's with t's. So she said "Mommy, tan we eat tomorrow?" and yesterday she said, "Mommy, tan we please go to bed?" She is trying very hard to be a big girl - wiping after peeing and washing her hands. Those are big things for her! : )

Emma is doing incredibly!!! I can't complain. She has been through 5 surgeries on her ears. She seems to be hearing a lot better. Her speech has improved by leaps and bounds. She still has a ways to go but has come a long way in a short time!! Her physical therapist said she is walking more flat footed now and that is great! She is very happy with her improvement since her last evaluation. And that is without therapy. We have to go in and remove her packing next Thursday. I'm anxious to see if she can hear any more. We will also be doing a sedated hearing exam to see if the surgeries show any improvement. I'll be anxious to see those results. Overall, she has just come out of her shell more than ever.

Olivia - what a character!!!! She talks bigger than she is. She is very sweet! Her and Emma's favorite thing now is singing the itsy bitsy spider. They do the motions and they want it sang over and over and over and over...get the point. : )

I'm doing well, I think. I've been more emotional this summer and I'm pretty sure it is because of all the surgeries. If I can stick to a regular exercise routine I think a lot of my stress will be dealt with that way. I'm trying to sit more and play more with my kids. I'm not stressing as much about what isn't being done and just trying to enjoy this time. Sometimes I think if time would just pass, life will get easier. In some ways, yes but it will also be hard in some ways too.

I'm thankful for Mike and his job. I'm thankful for medical people and the abilities God has give them. I'm thankful for wonderful parents and in-laws that support us. I'm thankful for our families that love us. I'm thankful for our children and hope that we do the best job of raising them. I'm thankful that God always knows what I need and can carry me through all that comes my way.