Back to 3...

I went in today to see and hold Miss Emma and she was very tired. She was desatting and had a brady but was trying to hold steady. After I left, they did an x-ray and turned her back up to 3. The x-ray did look better but after seeing her more awake and happy at 3 they decided to leave her there and just give her some more time. I am very o.k. with that. I want her better but it has to be in her own time. I want her better before she comes home.
That is pretty much the only news today. Mom and I will go in tonight and see her. Maybe Grandma can hold her for the 1st time.
That's all for now.

Down to 2...

Yes! Emma Grace moved down to 2 liters today at 12:30 p.m. and is doing well at 42% oxygen. We will hope that she stays strong at this rate. If she is doing well tomorrow, we might be able to try a bottle. That would be awesome!!!! We are definitely getting closer to coming home. I don't understand why, but it seems that it is always the hardest the closer it gets. You would think that it would be harder when it is farther away and doesn't seem like it is ever going to get better. At least for me, it gets harder as it gets closer.
A few of you have told me that they have had trouble posting a comment on the blog. Feel free to email me - I do love getting responses!!!! My email is miklikmb@yahoo.com.
Olivia is still doing great!! She seems to be doing well with this new formula. She is also doing better sleeping at night. I'm hoping to get in with Emma a lot more this week. Get her ready to come home. That would be awesome!!!
Well, I'm off to getting ready for the long night.
Love you to all!
Keep those prayers coming - they have really brought our girls a long way. Remember - Emma was not supposed to be with us and here she is. What a miracle! They both truly are!
I'll try to do pictures tomorrow. Oh...also...Alyssa got to hold Emma today. She loved it!
Good night!

Every day gets harder...

Every day gets harder that Emma is not with us at home. I don't care that it will be more work, I want her home!!! She is doing really well. She is still on 3 liters of flow at 34% oxygen. That is the lowest she has been on oxygen. She is absolutely beautiful!! She has really filled out. She weighs 4 lb. 7 oz. I'm hoping this week brings a lot of progress. My mom is coming to help out so I should be able to get in the NICU more. She is going to help me catch up on some sleep too. That will be NICE!!!!
Olivia is doing very well. She is at 5 lb. 9 oz. We are trying a new formula that is hypo-allergenic for babies that have trouble digesting cow's milk. It's geared towards colicky babies. She seems to be doing better already. Hopefully this will up her weight gain too. We go to the eye doctor this week on Tuesday and to the pediatrician on Friday. We have the early childhood development nurse coming on Thursday. I'm so glad I got all of Alyssa's appointments out of the way before the twins came home.
The eye doctor checked Emma's eyes this week and she has developed stage 2 level with her eyes. They have developed ridges. Don't ask me what that means because I don't know. All I know is stage 3 is the worst. She probably developed the stage 2 from being on the oxygen for so long. This could get worse slowly, quickly, stay the same or go away. There is no way of predicting what is going to happen. The one thing they said is good is that she is off of the ventilator. I spoke with her eye doctor (which is also Alyssa's eye doctor) and he is not concerned at all. She thinks she will be fine. So if he is not worried, I'm not. He is the best doctor we could have for them.
That is all for now. We just need to keep praying Emma home!!! Oh what a glorious day that will be!!!!

Due Date

Yes, today is August 7th, the twin's due date. They are 11 weeks old today. Emma is still hanging strong. She is still at 3 liters flow and 40% oxygen. I held her tonight for a short time. It was amazing just to look at her. She is sooo big compared to birth. She has tripled her size. She has really filled out.
Olivia is doing well too. We have a doctor's visit tomorrow and I think it will go well. I think the most challenging part will be taking Alyssa and Loren with me. We'll see how it goes.
I'm off to bed. I hope tonight goes as well as last night. : )

How do I say this in a kind way?

O.k. so I want to give myself the idiot of the year award. When Olivia was discharged, they told me to give her 38-43 cc. of milk every 3 hours. I had given her up to 45 after that because I thought she must be growing and needing more. So yesterday I was replaying over and over again how she has been at night. I kept thinking she acts like she is famished. Yesterday she was eating every 2 hours. So I thought you know what I'm going to try and see how much she will take. Yea, well, she downed 65 cc. like it was nothing. Then the next feeding came and I thought she probably would take a lot less since she took so much the time before. Nope, another 65 cc. So can I say I earned this award because she has eaten from 65-70 all night. And Amazingly - she slept like a champ the whole night. Are you kidding me? Was I so sleep deprived that this problem/solution didn't even cross my mind? I was just so used to 2 1/2 months of being so strict with her feeding schedule. It was always an amount - no more, no less. I am feeling better. I think I actually slept about 6 hours last night and it was great!! She woke up every 3 hours to eat. Thank the Lord I came to.

Emma is doing incredibley!!!! They lowered her yesterday from 4 liters to 3 liters and she has done great! They kind of expect her to compensate for the lowering of the flow by going up on the oxygen. She has not done that. She was at 40% when they did it and she is at 40% now. Praise the Lord!!!!

I'm anxious to see what they decide in rounds today.

Another day...

Considering that I had a baby (Loren) last April 07, it's funny how much you forget the all-nighters. I know I'm dealing with a lot more with Olivia though. Just her apnea machine alone can make you go crazy. Mostly all the alarms that her leads have detached are the ones that are the worst. Since she has been off of the formula, her spitting up has come way down. She has also started to stool again. She is growing well. She is 5 lb. 5 oz. The nurse will come again Wednesday and then she will be done for now. We have an appointment on Friday for another weight check. Even though Mike is not getting up to feed her, he has had it rough being up with her fussing and alarms, etc. Poor guy! He really tries to give me a break but it is hard since he has to get to work every day. The good thing is the more she grows and strengthens, the better she will do with her eating and burping and sleeping, etc. Emma and Olivia's due date is this Thursday, August 7th. Crazy to think about!
Emma is doing well at 4 lb. 6 oz. She is still at 4 liters on the nasal cannula. They said they might try to bring her down to 3 liters tomorrow. She is very sweet! Right now, Mike and I are taking turns to go to the NICU. He went last night so I will go tonight. We'll just keep it that way until my mom comes and stays with us. The earliest that would be is next Monday. We'll see how things go. I'm really wanting Emma home. I know I'm losing my mind and I know it will be extra work and I will be more exhausted than I already am but I really miss her. I hope it is soon. I just have this hole in my heart from her not being with us.
Alyssa is so helpful with Olivia. She loves to wrap her in the blanket. She likes to hold her and does a good job with it. They snuggle together on the couch.
I think that is all for now. I have ironing and laundry to do.
Love,
Bethany

I'll make this quick...

I'll make this quick because I need some sleep. Last night I was up with Olivia til 6:30 a.m. She would not sleep at all and was spitting up like crazy. She was constipated too. So after racking my brain, I have finally decided that for sure it must be the formula she is on. The Doctor has had me feed her just breast milk today and there has been no spitting up. She has also started to stool again. We'll see how tonight goes. I feel certain this is the problem because I keep going back to the time she was in the hospital. The day they gave her formula because she ran out of my milk, she immediately began puking and has had problems ever since. If I could, I would just feed her my milk. But they said because she was 2 1/2 months premature, she really needs the calcium and some other stuff in that for her bones, etc. They are going to consult with the main Doctor in the NICU that deals with all the formula, breast milk, feeding issues and see what he says. They might just try a different kind. If she does well tonight, then I will know for sure that it is the formula. If she doesn't do well, then I'm back to hitting my head against the wall. Otherwise, she is doing well growing. A nurse will be coming tomorrow to check her weight and see how she is doing. We have some really good snuggle time. She loves to cuddle. Despite the sleepless nights, it is so good to have her home.

Emma weighs 4 lb. 6 oz. She is growing well. I held her tonight. It is the best feeling to be able to go in and pick her up and hold her when I want. She loves to snuggle too. She has the best nurses! They love to spoil her with hugs and holding her. I really appreciate that because I can't be there all day and I love to know that she is being loved and getting attention. Today Mickey was snuggling her and that meant so much to me. Tonight was a little hard. I just want to take Emma home with me. We are going on 3 months here in another week or so. They haven't changed her oxygen because they don't want to move too fast. She is doing really well and we don't want that to change. So we are just requiring a little more patience. Someday, although it feels like it will never happen, we will have both girls home and I can't wait for that day!!! I'm so tired of going to the hospital. Well, my pillow is calling me.

Please keep praying for Emma's lungs - that they will be able to continue to heal so she can come home soon. Please keep praying for Olivia's intestines - that we can sort out this problem. We love you all!

Bethany